The BritMums Blog

The 'genderless' baby controversy: Really?

So a family in Canada has decided to keep their baby's gender a secret from the wider world, with only the parents, the siblings and a few other people.

Here's the rationale from the mother that has inflamed experts and other observers: "We decided not to share Storm's sex for now -- a tribute to freedom and choice in place of limitation, a standup to what the world could become in Storm's lifetime."

Hmm. Not sharing the baby's gender "for now". What is so damaging about that, I wonder? The family hasn't tried to surgically make the baby genderless. They are simply trying to raise it outside the preconceived notions of gender determinism.

The vitriolic response reveals just how threatened people feel when someone gets out of the box, so to speak, with gender and with parenting. 

10 tips for writing your memoir

For many people blogging leads naturally to writing a memoir – it’s all about the Me (and we mean that in the best possible way). Sometimes putting your own life into a story is difficult. You have to showcase the drama and find the beginning, the middle, and the end even though your own life, obviously, continues to roll on.

My friend Steve Friedman, a journalist in New York, has always had a talent for writing first-person stories that sound like he’s sitting right next to you, cracking jokes and spinning tales. He’s just published Driving Lessons: A Father, a Son , and the Healing Power of Golf (Rodale) in the US. Kirkus has called it “inspirational” among other things.

In June, he has a second book coming out called Lost on Treasure Island: A Memoir of Longing, Love, and Lousy Choices in New York City (Arcade). One blurb describes him as “hapless, hopeful and utterly hilarious.” (You can read more about his books on www.stevefriedman.net.)

Guest post: Handling a life change

Nina Grunfeld is the founder of Life Clubs (lifeclubs.com), weekly personal improvement workshops around the country. This week’s workshop is on how to understand and work with the changes in your life. Here, she guest blogs for us about changes that affect us as parents and bloggers.

In around 500 BC, Heraclitus said ‘Nothing endures but change’ and it’s still true. The only constant in our world is change and we rarely know how it’s going to affect us. Did you have any idea of how having a baby was going to change your life when you first had one? Or starting a blog.

I vividly remember when my first child arrived. I remember sitting in the bath crying. I’d been warned about losing my virginity, but never about having a baby. My adored father-in-law had just died and, instead of him, I was left with this crying, colicky child whom I was meant to engage with. I was certainly in a state of misery. Mourning the freedom I’d once had. Mourning the body I once had. Mourning this thing that was suddenly taking all my energy and had come between me and my husband.

That suffering turned to hope the day my baby stood up and walked across the room away from me. I remember thinking ‘It won’t be like this forever. One day I’ll be able to be me again’ and yet, 23 years later as he moved out forever, I felt that same loss and suffering, only this time it was losing him, rather than gaining him.

British Mum Bloggers Have Klout May Index

If you want to work with brands you need to know about Klout. Why? Because more and more brands are using their data to measure online influence. 

Klout are a social media analytics company that measures online influence using Twitter and Facebook data. They incorporate all sorts of stats, such as follower and following counts, retweets, list memberships, and influence of retweeters and mentioners. This information is blended with Facebook data such to come up with a "Klout Score". For the time being, Klout does not include blog stats, but I would not be surprised if that changed soon.

Here's a list of the top 100 scores for BritMums members. We've taken the full Klout scores (with decimal points) to lessen the chance of two people with the same score. When this is the case, we've gone alphabetical (i.e. mummytips and simplyhayley ).

The British Mum Bloggers Have Klout Index May 2011 -- Top 100

Rank	Twitter ID	Klout score
1	cosmicgirlie	69.31
2	himupnorth	68.9
3	nickie72	68.75
4	kateab	68.38
5	LizJarvisUK	66.25
6	tara_cain	65.99
7	englishmum	65.52
8	savvymum4autism	65.38
9	PippaD	65.15
10	Crystaljigsaw	65.01
11	annieqpr	64.95
12	MostlyYummy	64.73
13	mum_themadhouse	64.45
14	porridgebrain	64
15	karamina	63.9
16	LauraAWNTYM	63.76
17	liveotherwise	63.56
18	allisonrosser	63.19
19	muddleduck	63.06
20	cafebebe	63.01
21	christinemosler	62.96
22	michelletwinmum	62.63
23	MTJAM	61.79
24	jessies_online	61.68
25	plus2point4	61.45
26	susankmann	61.14
27	missielizzieb	61.11
28	cherylp59	61.09
29	exmoorjane	61.05
30	scottish_mum	60.93
31	karenpj	60.92
32	mummiafelice	60.83
33	theBitchinWife	60.73
34	mumstheboss	60.71
35	MuddlingAlong	60.28
36	LindaSJones	60.18
37	Superamazingmum	60.04
38	mummytips	60
39	simply_hayley	60
40	RedTedArt	59.89
41	motivatingmumuk	59.86
42	maisoncupcake	59.19
43	TheRealSupermum	59.14
44	Jax2000	59.04
45	kateagreen	59
46	swhittle	58.92
47	lunchboxworld	58.89
48	WhimsicalWife	58.82
49	Jo_Bryan	58.7
50	and1moremeans5	58.6
51	Kahanka	58.6
52	Caroljs	58.49
53	Melaina25	58.48
54	Erica	58.45
55	petitmew	58.42
56	littlestuff	57.99
57	onlydads	57.86
58	nurturestore	57.69
59	superluckydi	57.6
60	youngmummyuk	57.59
61	themccaskieclan	57.58
62	Mummyandbeastie	57.53
63	iamwitwitwoo	57.52
64	notsupermum	57.48
65	Kellyfairy	57.26
66	VBinCatalunya	57.13
67	RenBehan	56.77
68	frugalfamily	56.58
69	R2UK	56.44
70	Cheshire_Claire	56.18
71	01momonawire	56.05
72	3bedroom	56
73	MumsRock	55.82
74	vegemitevix	55.73
75	SusuRem	55.67
76	northernmum1	55.61
77	mumrablog	55.35
78	caro_mad	55.29
79	mummylimited	55.19
80	amodernmother	55.11
81	belgianwaffling	55.06
82	babybudgeting	55.04
83	lakessinglemum	54.98
84	verybusymama	54.85
85	MerrilyMe	54.81
86	babyrambles	54.7
87	SAHMlovingit	54.05
88	ificouldescape	54
89	2starsandaswirl	53.86
90	summerlandc	53.85
91	lvano	53.82
92	Choc0range	53.51
93	Sarh	53.15
94	peabee72	52.8
95	Helloitsgemma	52.77
96	InsomniacMummy	52.74
97	AdeleJK	52.74
98	SFRProdReviews	52.42
99	emmaand3	52.35
100	baby_genie	52.34

Want to be evaluated in our next index? Make sure you fill out this form. 

Congrats to all that made this month's index. Go ahead and grab the code and tell the world!

<a href="http://www.britishmummybloggers.co.uk" _mce_href="http://www.britishmummybloggers.co.uk" target="_blank"><img src="http://cafebebe.co.uk/wp-content/themes/vigilance/images/top-banner/2011/02/BMBKlout2.jpg" _mce_src="http://cafebebe.co.uk/wp-content/themes/vigilance/images/top-banner/2011/02/BMBKlout2.jpg" alt="" /> </a>

Here's a smaller version if you have a more petitie sidebar:

<a href="http://www.britishmummybloggers.co.uk" _mce_href="http://www.britishmummybloggers.co.uk" target="_blank"><img src=" http://cafebebe.co.uk/wp-content/themes/vigilance/images/top-banner/2011/02/BMBKlout2small.jpg" _mce_src=" http://cafebebe.co.uk/wp-content/themes/vigilance/images/top-banner/2011/02/BMBKlout2small.jpg" alt="" /> </a><a></a><a></a><a></a>

*These scores were recorded on 26 May 2011

-Susanna

Why do you blog? Potty Mummy @ThePottyDiaries

1. What is your Blog Name/Url? (Twitter ID & Facebook Fan Page URL)

Blog:  The Potty Diaries 

I also tweet as @thepottydiaries

No Facebook since I'm essentially a luddite and can't cope with yet another stream of electronic information - although not so long ago I said that about twitter, and well...

Blogger of the week #passiton

At BritMums we love to recognise brilliance in blogging. We try to, every week, highlight a blogger who is lighting the blogosphere up with their writing. We want to share the love as much as possible to build a strong community. This week we need to galvanise the blogging community behind one very special blogger and the amazing campaign that she is promoting.

Guest post: What every blogger needs to know about tax

Have you ever wondered if you need to tell the tax man about that massage the lovely PR person gave you as a thank you for participating in their campaign. Or if he should be privy to that vacuum cleaner you reviewed (and kept). Liz Jarvis from The Mum Blog shows us that tax doesn't have to be taxing. 

As many of us have discovered, apart from making friends and the chance to be part of a brilliant community, blogging can provide you with the opportunity to write product reviews, go on days out and holidays, receive vouchers and even payment for posts.

And more and more bloggers are making money from their blogs, and even running them as at home businesses.

Which can make things a little complicated, from the tax point of view.

Join the BritMums May blog hop!

Can you believe that May is nearly gone? Spring is sprung and Summer is sitting on our doorstep! We're all looking forward to our last Spring Bank Holiday, starting to countdown to the end of school and planning our summer holidays. But wait! Before you get carried away with the boys of summer, let's take this opportunity to have a final Spring BritMums Blog Hop!

Why do you blog? Heather @SAHMlovingit

Once again, more lovely insight behind the bloggers who write the blogs we love. This week we're featuring Heather from SAHM Loving It.

1. What is your Blog Name/Url? (Twitter ID & Facebook Fan Page URL)

SAHMlovingit (http://sahmlovingit.blogspot.com).  My twitter ID is @SAHMlovingit.  I don't have a Facebook account

2. What is your name/alias?

My real name is Heather (but I'm also just known as SAHMlovingit as some people in the blogosphere call me)

Blogger of the week + 10 must-reads

Choosing the Blogger of the Week is never an easy task. The parent blogosphere is chock-a-block with talented writers, photographers, videographers and stories about poo (well, we are parents). Each week I look for someone who stands out a bit from the crowd; maybe someone who has written a post that has rippled around the blogosphere; maybe someone who's picture is so gorgeous, everyone is talking about it; maybe someone who has just knocked our socks off with an amazing new video.

This week I was reminded about a blogger who has been around for a little while but who you all should be watching and listening to. This week's Blogger of the Week is...Peggy Poyser of Perfectly Happy Mum.

Making the move from Blogger to Wordpress

Is it time for a change? Mesina felt it was and she made a change from the Blogger platform to Wordpress.

Wordpress is a very popular platform because of its adaptability. It's constantly being updated and allows you to incorporate different elements, functionality and widgets. It's so popular that we're including a session on it during CyberMummy.

Mesina's done a great post that describes the move as a step-by-step process. If you're considering a change yourself, check out her blog post.

-- Jennifer Howze, www.jenography.net

Guest post: How to tame the blogging beast

Does your blog ever threaten to take over your life? Do you feel pressure to blog? Elaine Westwick (pictured) feels your pain.

You publish your latest blog post and feel the warm glow of accomplishment. Can you sit back and relax or are you drawn to the necessity of pushing out the next entry? Are you in control of your blog or is it, beast-like, in control of you?

As mothers, we bemoan the lack of interesting part-time work and are to drawn to blogging as a flexible way to exercise the mind, regain a sense of self and maybe earn some cash. Yet, caught up by success, and having not entirely planned to, we find we have created a ravenous monster that we are driven to feed daily. Instead of freeing us to be available for our families, blogs can end up entrapping us in their claws.

But unlike a slave master boss, our blogs are our own creation and we are free to choose how much time we spend with them. Here are two challenges for anyone wanting to cut the beast down to size:

Feed less often

Standard advice given to those wanting to create a high impact blog is to post with high frequency. In our early enthusiasm we set off at a cracking rate, but sooner or later, life intervenes and maintaining the pace starts to weigh us down. We fear reducing our posting frequency in case our hard-won readers move elsewhere.

7 easy tips for pumping up your Twitter account

There are loads of different philosophies on how to grow a Twitter account. Here are some tips I got from a fellow journalist a while back. They may sound a little clinical - there's no mention of "having loads of great conversations and sharing jokes", but they do give a basic roadmap for helping to get your name out there.

What do you think about these 7 steps for finding more Twitter followers? Too basic? Wonderfully simplistic? What's your best Twitter tip?

1. Make 1,000 friends

2. Post friendly comments introducing blog links "wrote this because..." etc

Blogger of the week + 10 must-reads

The Easter Holidays, School Half-Term, Royal Wedding and a myriad of Bank Holidays have put us off our Blogger of the Week regular schedule. For that, we apologise. We're back on track honouring brilliance in blogging every week and pointing you in the best direction to follow new and exciting blogs and their authors.

This week we bring to your attention, the blog of a very special Mummy Blogger who was a Super Mummy last week. What made her such a Super Mummy? Well, bringing forth her latest gorgeous creation a mere two hours after arriving in hospital, accompanied by only gas-and-air makes her pretty much a Super Mummy in anyone's book. That Super Mummy/Blogger of the Week is... Kelly (@Kellyfairy)  from A Place of My Own.

Why do you blog? Hayley @ Simply Hayley

We love to learn more about our BritMums bloggers through our recurring "Why do you blog?" feature. It's fascinating to see how a blog is "born" and to learn more about individual motivations and goals. We hope that you will find some inspiration in the following post from Hayley Glenister of Simply Hayley.

Guest post: How to make the most of media opportunities

At BritMums we have a wealth of experience in our blogging community. As blogging continues to rise in popularity, mainstream media is taking notice and seeking out the opinion, expertise and talent of bloggers for articles and radio/television shows. Some of our brilliant bloggers have been making regular radio appearances as well as being sought after by television shows like "The Vanessa Show". Emily Carlisle share her expertise in dealing with this more common occurrence...media opportunities for bloggers.

  How to make the most of media opportunities

Okay, so you’re not blogging for fame and fortune, but occasionally an opportunity comes along to be featured in the local paper, maybe even in the national press.  You might have been approached via your blog, seen an appeal for case studies on a bulletin board, or perhaps you’ve been diligently cold calling in pursuit of coverage.  However you’ve secured the opportunity, once you’ve finished doing a jig of excitement, called your mates and tweeted your news, give a little thought to how you can make the most of it.

Why I blog: a highlight reel from BritMums blogger videos!

Vlogging has hit the BMB community and over the previous weeks several bloggers have created videos revealing "Why I blog". We've edited some highlights into one reel, which shows just how much video talent we have in the community. Here you can see BritMum members Mari from Marisworld.co.uk, Sara from School Gate, Ruth from Geekmummy.com, Karin from Cafebebe.co.uk, Jacqui from Mummyslittlemonkey.com, Rachel from Midthirtieslife.com, Helen from Knackeredmotherswineclub.com, Nadine from Jugglemum.com, Penny from Aresidence.co.uk, Jen from Jenography.net and with special dance sequence by Jay from Mochabeaniemummy.com.

Guest post from Littlemummy: Monetising your blog

Back again to educate the Mum Blogging community, Erica Douglas offers us some outstanding insight into the world of monetising your blog. If you're looking for some tips as to how to make a bit of income with your blog, look no further!

So you've been blogging for a while and you're loving it! Your blog is looking exactly how you want it (after many a midnight hour spent tinkering!) and your traffic is on the up and up. So what next? Successful bloggers have gone on to do everything from publishing a book to building a business, turned freelance and built niche websites.

The opportunities are endless, do you have goals beyond blogging for fun? I could have written about any of the topics above but Karin suggested monetising your blog as the hot topic of the moment. If you're happily blogging for fun then look away now, we're going to talk about that dirty thing called money.

Join our #savvyfetes Twitter party on 11 May!

Bring out the bunting and ice the fairy cakes; tis the season for school fetes. Fetes are important not only for the fun they provide but for the essential funds they raise for the schools themselves. But what makes a good fete? What's the best way to organise a tombola? How do you get people involved?